Monday, 13 January 2014

Initial Story Idea.

For my Story I want to keep it quite comical and lighthearted. When I was thinking of an idea to write about, this was the one that made me chuckle as I can picture it in my head. Any feedback would be very helpful.


A large lady walks into the Beauty Parlour, wanting a perm and a Pedicure. The hairdresser confirms her appointment and settles the lady down in a chair, which is a snug fit but she refuses to sit in another. The hairdresser prepares the lady and after its been washed, wraps it in tight curlers which is then left under the heater to dry.

After a while the hairdresser notices the ladies hair begins to steam and so gathers another employee as she's concerned. The hairdresser thought the heat was too high so turns it down a bit and carries on mopping up the hair from the floor. Meanwhile the lady is too busy reading her magazine, eating her chocolate and getting her toe nails painted to even notice that her hair is still steaming . The hairdresser returns to take the heater off, and then all of a sudden "poof" the lady's hair just goes up in flames.

The hairdresser begins to panic and goes to call for the manager, but as she walks one way the manager comes from the other side. Just as the manager notices what disaster has occurred, the lady's chair just gives way breaking in all directions. Before the lady could fall to the floor the manager has twisted, stretched and tangled his body into the form of a chair to rescue the lady. Although the lady was a mighty lump, he was strong enough to last out long enough for the hairdresser to return. Along she came running with a fire extinguisher in her hand and without even thinking just sprays the fire out.

The customer had fell asleep during the commotion but the sound and feeling of the foam being squirted on her head like a hot chocolate woke her up in a panic. She was so much in shock,  the manager kept her falling to the ground cushioning the lady's fall but the poor man was flattened to a crisp.

The hairdressers all linked together help bring the lady to her feet, allowing the manager to breathe again. The lady is in such a rage that she just turns bright red and freezes. Her hairdresser does nothing more but grabs a towel and just dabs the foam off the lady's hair, once all was gone the lady's hair was no where to be seen.

Eventually the lady regains herself back, and finds that her hair is completely gone but to try and make up for the damage the hairdresser gives  the lady a make-over and does her eyebrows hoping that she wouldn't notice. The lady does nothing more but grabs her coat and walks out. Then within the same moment the manager gives the hairdresser her belongings and tells her 'Your Fired'.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Ruby - I think the slapstick approach is fun and about the right tone for your three objects; not sure about the manager becoming the chair, however? Seems like an additional character you probably don't need. Something about your story idea reminds me of this classic Tom and Jerry cartoon - Tot Watchers:

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xdx6kp_tom-e-jerry-tot-watchers-cartoon-tj_shortfilms

    The joke is that the baby is blissfully unaware of the danger he's in and the escalating chaos around him - which is also the joke in your story. I think you could make this just about the beautician fighting to fend of the chaos around this fat lady customer as everything goes wrong. I'm wondering too about the ending; imagine that the poor beautician (I'm imagining him now as a sort of classic, camp, skinny guy - black roll neck etc!) having nearly killed himself trying to prevent the woman from noticing that all hell is breaking lose (and tying himself in knots as he does it), finally uses the fire-extinguisher on her hair and face to put out the fire he's somehow started; we think the woman is going to be furious, but then she see's her reflection in the mirror - and she loves her appearance: the fire-extinguisher has moisturised her, for example, the fire has given her an extraordinary perm (whatever), and instead of her being angry with him, she says 'Again!' - at which point the poor beautician - knackered and frazzled - just falls over with exhaustion. I reckon this is a two character story - and it's really an example of character vs environment :)

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  2. You're definitely going in the right direction with this, made me smile :)

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    1. Thanks Danny, glad it made you smile :).

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