Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Story Idea - Revisited.

After some feedback I've gone ahead and made some changes, turning it into a '2 man show' and ending on a happy note but the main storyline is the same. 

A large lady walks into the Beauty Parlour, wanting a perm and a pedicure. The hairdresser confirms her appointment and settles the lady down in a chair, which is a snug fit but she refuses to sit in another. The hairdresser prepares the lady and after her hairs been washed,and wrapped  in tight curlers itis then left under the heater to dry. 

After a while the hairdresser notices the ladies hair begins to steam and so gathers another employee as they're concerned. The hairdresser thought the heat was too high so turns it down a bit and carries on mopping up the hair from the floor. Meanwhile the lady is too busy reading her magazine, eating her chocolate and getting her toe nails painted to even notice that her hair is still steaming .The hairdresser returns to take the heater off, and then all of a sudden "poof" the lady's hair goes up in flames. 

The hairdresser begins to panic, and runs for the fire extinguisher but they get back just in the knack of time when all of a sudden the lady's chair just gave way breaking in all directions. The lady had fell asleep but the sound of all the commotion had woke her up. Before the shocked lady could fall to the floor the hairdresser had jumped to the rescue. Dropping the fire extinguisher, he began to twist, stretch and tangle himself into a knot in order to form a chair to save her. The poor hairdresser was flattened to a crisp as he wasn't strong enough for the lady as she was a mighty lump, although he did cushion the lady's fall long enough for her to rock herself back on her feet. 

The hairdresser got his posture back, then did no more but leap for the fire extinguisher, putting out the fire on the lady's head as if he was topping a hot chocolate with whipped cream. She was in so much shock she turned bright red with rage and then froze, all the hairdresser could do was guide her to another seat - this time one she fit in.   

As soon as she was seated with a blanket draped over her, the hairdresser set to. The hair was a complete mess, but it was nothing this hairdresser couldn't fix. With hair and products flying left, right and centre, this lady wouldn't even remember the event that had occurred. Eventually the lady regained consciousness, looked in the mirror and did a double take.

"Do you like what you see" the hairdresser said walking over with a cup of tea. The lady was in shock but a shock of excitement. She couldn't believe how wonderful she looked, thanking the hairdresser for what a wonderful job he had done. After praising her hair, she apologised to the hairdresser for what an unsociable person she had been; falling asleep for the duration she was there. The hairdresser looked at her with disbelief and was confused as too how she didn't remember any of what had gone on. The lady kept thanking them until she left and as she walked out the parlour with a massive smile on her face she said "I'll recommend you everyone I know!", and waved goodbye.  


  1. Hi Ruby - can you take a look at the functions of the 'logline', 'premise' and 'step treatment' etc for presenting your ideas; you'll find them in the Storytelling and Commission folder on myUCA , in the 'From Script To Screen' folder and then you need to download the 'Writing and Presenting Your Script' file in the 'Scriptwriting Resources' folder - these methods will help you to clarify your story - and help me see any issues etc.