Tuesday, 19 April 2016

@Phil - Animation Draft 2.

This is another draft for my animation, without an ending. Sorting out timings and illustrations in After Effects. Sound has been added behind the narration for some of it, but I need to work on the composition and will have it correct for the final thing.
And a test render of the final scene with everyone laughing, trying it work out how well they all look on a screen together - (they'll be popping up one by one laughing.)


3 comments:

  1. Hi Ruby - well done on making lots of good progress :)

    A couple of things I noticed for your attention/consideration:

    1) The respiratory animated diagram; in animation terms I think it needs more frames, because there's something rather too glitchy about it still.

    2) In terms of the laughter that interrupts the Chaplin quote - I'm not sure that the 'sniggerer' is the best of your laughs, by that I mean, it's not sudden or loud enough; maybe try one of the 'bigger' laughs? Logically, I think it should be The Giggler. Also, I think the laugh should stop after the Shhh!' so we hear the next bit of the narrator's dialogue without the over-lap. It also feels as if the Chaplin image and text should vanish on the 'Shhh' too - it just feels as if it hangs about for a bit too long.

    3) When we hear '16 gelotological groups' - I think we should see this written, as opposed to just looking at more of those graphs appearing.

    4) The Smiler needs some sound - a sort of vacant sounding

    5) This applies to all your characters; it's important that we get a sense of them 'coming to rest' and completing their laughs, as opposed to cutting away from them when they're in mid-action (as in The Wallflower and especially 'The Weeper'). True, not all of them feel as 'interrupted' (for example, the cut away from The Snorter works nicely), but there are a few that feel as if the characters are being snatched away.

    6) The Chuckler - how about including a lullaby-like tune with this one, the sort of something you'd expect a Fisher-price toy to make? I think there are probably opportunities for these kind of 'added extras' in terms of sound design throughout your film. You need to look for ways to make these little scenes into 'little complete worlds'.

    7) Onceitstartsi *cantstopmyselfsis* - typo (you're missing the y after the m).

    8) Watch your sound balance where the narrator says 'Madame, compose yourself please' - at the moment the giggling and the narration are blending as one: you need to prioritise the narrator here, so a) create a pause in the giggling so he can say it in isolation, or very subtly, lower the volume of the giggling so the narration is dominant.

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  2. 9) The Shaker - again in terms of 'sound worlds' I'm wondering if we might hear the distant sound of a football match, whistles blowing etc - I think these additions should be subtle, but I also think they'd just enrich things nicely.

    10) No 13 - typo *Applaudus*

    11) 'It is a matter of scientific record etc' - you just need a simple diagram here - something like a single unsmiley face on the left, and a big group of smiley faces on the right - something to show that people are more likely to laugh in groups etc.

    12) I think the 'Beafraidus' label should actually be smaller (as it's like a footnote, not a part of the 16) - I think it should be no bigger than the width of the clown's legs, so it sits underneath him tidily.

    13 'What makes us *Laugh?*' You've given 'laugh' a capital letter, when it doesn't need one.

    14 I think the hippo drawing could do with being smaller, so that it is not clipping the brain diagram.

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